P2P

I have been typing, and backspacing, for about five minutes now. I have writer’s block. So I guess I will just take this post one sentence at a time and write about something I love. Perhaps my relationship with the pen.

My interest in writing began in Ms. Hall’s fourth grade class, when we were taught how to create fictional personal narratives. I was allowed to be original with my thoughts, and learned to make my words flow coherently. I found comfort and amusement in my stories, and used them as an outlet for my creativity.

The following year, I poured my heart and soul into the Young Author’s writing contest with my profound five-page masterpiece, “The Talking Spellbook,” inspired by Wizards of Waverly Place. I was heartbroken when Ms. Finney pulled me out of class to tell me that my grand debut into the world of published literature would have to wait. After much deliberation from the judges, it had been decided that my book did not make the cut (little did I know that although not nearly as credible as Shakespeare, my writing would still be seen later in the form of a blog :P). It was a long period before I wrote for myself again - not because I still had a stick up my ass from my fifth grade trauma story or anything, but simply because school took over the majority of my life. However, I did continue to love english as a subject.

I had many failed attempts to start a diary throughout highschool, despite having bought a beautiful 30-pack of glitter gel pens as motivation. So in 2017, when I started a scratch Google Doc to vent about whatever first-world problems I thought I had back then, I did not intend for it to turn into a journal that I use even three years later.

My journal, “Points to Ponder,” is single-handedly the biggest source of my development from naivety and immaturity to strength and mindfulness (of course, still always a work in progress). I would have never imagined the insight I offered myself by just sitting down with my own thoughts and finding a way to organize them. So I guess the purpose of the rest of this post will be to tell you why and how I journal.

Why journal?

I’m sure you have heard at least a million times that journaling is a powerful tool for self- reflection; however, you don’t even have to have the intent to reflect when you use it. Instead, I only write when I’m feeling a certain emotion strongly, and need to express myself. This could come from sadness, happiness, uncertainty, curiosity, etc. The goal is simply to embrace my short-term emotions to feel at peace and get a better understanding of why I’m feeling them. Recognizing the root of our emotions:

• Is a healthy way to cope

• Allows us to organize our thoughts chronologically/visually

• Resolves internal conflicts

• Keep our values in check

The reflection comes as a bonus once you start exploring your consciousness.

If you are intentionally looking for some serious introspection but are not sure how to start, the great thing about journals is that you don't have to know what you are talking about. It's a safe space for you to question anything and everything about yourself. And when you can’t comprehend what is going on in your life, writing allows you to take things slow and steady - just like how I’m dealing with this writer's block one sentence at a time.

Tips that work for me:

1. Always dating my journal entries. It is the easiest way to track my growth, and convenient for when I need to look back on my memories!

2. If I do go back to my previous writing and want to add on or edit, I do it in the comment section instead of altering anything in the original entry. I never delete anything I’ve written in the past because seeing my old views next to more developed thoughts is a very tangible way to see my progress (again, easy to track growth).

3. Color coding for clarity and organization. I switch colors with every entry, and will usually highlight the most important ones in red.

4. Not caring about punctuation or grammar or proper english. No one else is going to see my writing unless I choose to show them. This is a safe space where I can truly be myself, and not care about the spelling of neccessary.

5. If I get stuck, starting with: What am I feeling right now (emotion)? → What caused it (context)? → Why am I feeling this (reasoning)? → Now what (a goal/resolution)?

6. Not being too hard on myself. I don’t always have a “Now what.” It’s important to recognize that I don’t need to have answers right away. Understanding comes with time and patience.

I hope you guys enjoyed this post of me fangirling about my most treasured Google Doc, and are maybe inspired to take up journaling yourself. If you have any other tips or advice, help a girl out!