The Power of Perspective

Let’s take the classic Heinz dilemma: Heinz cannot afford an overpriced drug that can save his sick wife from dying. His options are to break into the greedy chemist’s shop to steal the drug for her, or obey the law but watch his wife suffer a slow death.

Now, whether or not he chooses to steal the drug, it can be argued that Heinz is a “good” or a “bad” person. The key takeaway is that it’s always simply a matter of perspective.

Everyone has a way to justify their reasoning behind “what’s right” based on their personal experiences with family life, financial circumstances, etc. These factors form an individual’s core beliefs and influence even the smallest decisions. So really, when you label someone as moral/immoral, you are only defining them to fit into your truth - there is inherent bias.

This is where putting yourself in others’ shoes comes in. It’s crucial to understand that your way is not the right way, it’s just the right way FOR YOU.

A lot of people have asked me to write about why empathy is important. Naturally, we humans are more responsive to concepts that we know will benefit us directly. So, I’m going to explain this from a purely self-centered point-of-view; it all ties back to this concept.

More often than not, we are quick to judge others without knowing/accepting their truth, or the motives behind their actions. These prejudices build up to become projections of hate, mistrust, and anger, and we slowly destroy all our relationships because we choose to blame others for not matching our lifestyle. This can cause us to:

1. isolate ourselves from them in an act of entitlement, or

2. push them to change too hard until it becomes toxic on both ends.

Depending on the route you take, you end up a loser with commitment issues or a hot mess with no sense of boundaries - possibly both.

On the other hand, let’s say you decide to be considerate of another’s choices before placing blame over literally nothing. This can go two ways.

1. After learning their story, you can decide that this person’s character is not compatible with yours and you would rather invest your energy in more similar people. This is better than the alternative “screw them” isolation strategy because you are not tinting your reality by thinking you are any more deserving than anyone else (consequently setting yourself up for eternal loneliness and fragile self-esteem).

2. You accept the way they choose to live and present themselves, and it’s not a dealbreaker for you. Instead, your open-mindedness towards an entirely different lifestyle allows you to broaden your knowledge; comparing your mindset against others’ forces you to re-evaluate and update your values consistently. In other words, being receptive of others’ differences makes you more self-aware and brings you more self-respect.

In either case, you don’t weigh yourself down. And not only that, but you actually add more meaning to your life. Therefore, it is in your best interest to be empathetic.

---

Disclaimer: Empathetic, not Apologetic

As much as I preach this superpower, it should not be mistaken for being an apologist. People do horrible and inexcusable things all the time. Bullying. Abuse. Rape. They may choose to justify themselves because these acts have been positively reinforced their whole life (example: most physical and sexual abusers inherit their toxic habits because they were abused as children themselves), or they are not in a healthy headspace. As much as they should suffer the consequences of their wrongdoings, it’s not enough. We owe it to ourselves and our community to take a bottom-up approach by educating them on the root of their unstable mentality. Side note: the #blacklivesmatter movement and the attention it has brought to defunding the police is a perfect example of this - many problems that the police force has to address within its community is without consideration of what is actually needed for the community to heal. Reinvesting funds into education, rehabilitation centers, etc. can improve long-run problems like drug abuse and increase opportunity for social mobility more than arrest can.

---

Empathy is not a “soft people trait,” and does not translate to forgiveness. It’s simply a way to get a grasp of reality and use it to empower yourself. And for the record, Heinz was a baller for choosing to steal the drug according to my personal scale of morality.