Positivity

I have come to realize that all of that “look for the silver lining” or “always see the glass as half full” stuff is for losers. Because more often than we’d like to admit, we all have shitty days when we’re in shitty moods and want to sleep our shitty problems away. Or rather, we are just too clouded by the current situation to find clarity within ourselves.

This was my case around six months ago. I was struggling with some unresolved emotions about my past that I had no idea how to deal with. I came into the new year angry at myself for not knowing why I was feeling so sad and anxious. As an avid agenda-user, journal-writer, and TED talk-watcher, I loved to track my growth; it was easy for me to see that I had not overcome any significant obstacles or had any life-changing epiphanies.

A friend of mine who I confided in about this matter explained to me that sometimes emotions are hard to process when they are too fresh in our minds. Since that was not the response I was looking for, nor a solution to my restlessness (related: my last post on how other people are NOT responsible for your problems), I proceeded to “fake it ‘till I make it” while subconsciously hating myself the entire time.

This was a horrible strategy for me and lasted for a total of a couple days before I realized that I was just ignoring my feelings and dragging myself further into the hole of destruction.

But I did learn that there is a careful balance between optimism and distorting reality. Obviously, if you are having a crisis that is affecting your mental health, you can’t just smack a band-aid on your heart and tell yourself that you are, in fact, living your best life. But at the same time, you can’t wait for the world to pass you by either; if you keep yourself in “Everything Sucks” mode, your experiences will reflect it, and consequently suck.

So where did this leave me? I had no other choice but to wait it out and trust that I am capable of healing myself. And I found this mindset to be a lot more effective than the forgetting the pain existed thing.

If you are struggling right now, know that it is okay to not be okay, and it is okay to not have the peace that you are looking for. But allow yourself to find comfort in the fact that even if you don’t heal today, or tomorrow, or anytime soon, there WILL be a day where you will be okay. And that is the only silver lining you need.